If you're constantly striving to meet your high standards but nothing ever feels good enough, or you never feel satisfied with your achievements because you always think you should do better... It's a sign your perfectionism has become unhealthy.
It's no wonder you're feeling anxious and stressed, and struggling with overthinking, procrastination, self-criticism and self-doubt!
The good news is that all of this can stop, by learning how to manage your perfectionism properly - and that's where my therapy designed specifically for perfectionists comes in...
Are you tired of feeling overwhelmed by the pressure of trying to be perfect?
Therapy for Perfectionism
therapy
I've helped clients who have had unsuccessful therapy before by getting to the root of things, instead of just putting a plaster on it. We don't just do all the amazing talking stuff together, we also get sh*t done and I help you put things into practice.
PRODUCTIVE
Therapy doesn’t need to be stuffy and formal. I want my clients to feel comfortable, so if there’s a mixture of laughing and crying I’m here for it! I aim to offer the perfect blend between professional and feeling like you’re chatting to a friend.
FRIENDLY
I pride myself on offering high-quality evidence-based trauma-informed therapy. I'm a confident therapist with over a decade of experience, and I have a good track record of helping my clients overcome their problems and make lasting changes.
EFFECTIVE
Not only will I be your biggest cheerleader, I'll also show you unconditional compassion during your toughest times. I genuinely care about all of my clients, and I'm always determined to help them get to where they want to be in life.
COMPASSIONATE
MY APPROACH
Implementing tools to overcome procrastination and prioritise what matters
making decisions without being plagued by indecisiveness and self-doubt
Breaking vicious cycles & self-sabotage caused by unrelenting standards
Getting relief from the overwhelming sense that you're not good enough
Practicing self-compassion and learning how to stop being so self-critical
Learning effective coping strategies to manage anxiety and overthinking
Here are some of the things I can support you with:
- Getting to the root cause of your perfectionism and overwhelm, and pinpoint why you never feel good enough
- Making sense of self-sabotaging behaviours using a trauma-informed and attachment-based approach
- Identifying how your unhealthy perfectionism manifests day-to-day
- Discovering which parts of your perfectionism are negatively impacting your life and which parts can be positively built on
- Overcoming problems linked to your perfectionism, i.e. anxiety, worry, procrastination, self-doubt
- Understanding how to manage your perfectionism properly so that it no longer holds you back
- Shifting your perfectionism from unhealthy to healthy
- Learn how to live a happy and overwhelm-free life as a confident, calm and content perfectionist
I’m the expert in perfectionism & CBT, and you’re the expert in you! that means We’ll figure things out together. In therapy we will transform your perfectionism by:
How I can help you
If you struggle with perfectionism and anxiety then Natalie is the ideal therapist for you. I was feeling incredibly overwhelmed and anxious. I struggled a lot with perfectionism and decision-paralysis. I also based my self-worth on making perfect choices and on not being rejected. She helped me understand for the first time the core beliefs that led me to feel anxious and empowered me with the tools to change these core beliefs. I am so incredibly grateful to Natalie and can't recommend her enough!
I had therapy with Natalie after suffering with anxiety, stress & perfectionism for years. I was anxious most days to the point of feeling sick. Natalie is knowledgeable, empathetic and kind - I immediately felt at ease. I felt like I was making progress each week and she helped me achieve all my goals and more, I don't even remember the last time I was anxious! My whole mindset has transformed. I feel so balanced across my life. I'm able to recognise and handle my perfectionist behaviours to ensure they serve me and don't hinder me. Working with Natalie has completely changed my life, and I wouldn't hesitate to recommend her!
Having therapy with Natalie will be the best thing you ever do! It requires time and effort but it'll result in you feeling so much happier every day. Working through exercises with Natalie and having her be able to succinctly summarise my stream of thoughts, and also challenge my thoughts where needed, really helped break my thought patterns and cement my new healthy rules. If I'd just done the exercises in isolation or read it in a book I wouldn't have arrived at the same outcome!
Before working with Natalie I was anxious, had little self-belief and confidence, and didn't think much of myself. Natalie enabled me to identify the root causes of my unhelpful thoughts and behaviours. Natalie shared strategies and techniques, and I have now become kinder to myself, I am more assertive and I kinda like myself now. Natalie went at my pace, she was encouraging, genuinely interested, sharing in the joys of my progress, providing support during the lows and challenging constructively during other times. Thank you Natalie for being a part of my mental wellbeing journey, you're a star, shine on!
I felt trapped with anxiety and stuck on how to manage negative thoughts. Natalie really helped me settle my anxiety and perfectionism by showing me simple tools to help clarify the thoughts in my head! After having therapy I feel far more free, I can manage my negative thoughts, I have so much more self-compassion, and I have tools that can help me for life!
At the beginning of therapy, I felt anxious, unconfident and nervous. I’m now feeling much more confident and optimistic. I’m also proud of myself for pushing through my comfort zone with Natalie’s encouragement. It was really helpful being given tasks to complete for home practice and reflecting on how I was feeling before and after completing the tasks. To anyone struggling and thinking about having therapy with Natalie I’d say go for it!
At the beginning of therapy I was questioning whether I was in the right job or whether I could do the job or if it was my anxiety that was causing the problems I was facing. Now I understand how my anxiety was getting in the way of me managing my job. I wouldn't hesitate to recommend Natalie, she's professional and knows her stuff.
If you're struggling with any of these issues then click below to get started with therapy.
All-Or-Nothing Thinking
Low Self-Worth & Confidence
Unrelenting High Standards
Self-Sabotaging Behaviours
Fear of Failure & Mistakes
People Pleasing & Poor Boundaries
Imposter Syndrome
Procrastination & Avoidance
Overwhelm & Stress
Self-Doubt & Self-Criticism
Overthinking & Indecisiveness
Anxiety & Worrying
Am I a Perfectionist? Is it Perfectionism?
If you've found yourself wondering this then you're not alone! Lots of my clients often come to therapy thinking 'but I can't be a perfectionist because I'm so far from perfect'.
Or they say 'but I'm so lazy, surely I can't be a perfectionist?'. That's when I explain that perfectionism can show up in different ways - organised or chaotic, tidy or messy, working hard or doing nothing, controlling or appeasing . Your perfectionism is unique and will look completely different to another perfectionist's.
Have a look below at the most common issues I see perfectionists struggling with - if these resonate with you then you're in the right place and I'm the right therapist for you!
Sometimes we can find ourselves stuck in vicious cycles where our thoughts and the things we’re doing to try and solve a problem inadvertently keep it going. This means we continue to experience the negative feelings associated with the problem. In many cases, it can also make it difficult to move forward with our lives.
CBT can help you deal with overwhelming problems in a more positive way by breaking them down into smaller parts. You’ll learn how to change negative patterns to improve the way you feel. CBT mainly deals with your current problems in the here and now, but does also focus on issues from your past if relevant. It can also help you identify practical ways to improve your state of mind on a daily basis.
THE KEY IDEA BEHIND COGNITIVE BEHAVIOURAL THERAPY IS THAT WHAT YOU THINK (COGNITIVE) AND WHAT YOU DO (BEHAVIOURAL) AFFECTS THE WAY YOU FEEL.
how cognitive behavioural therapy works
We'll meet each week to talk things through in a proactive way. We’ll also agree therapeutic tasks for you to complete in between sessions so you can start putting the things you’re learning into practice.
We’ll create a written diagram of the problem, explaining how the problem developed and what's keeping it going. Clients often find this process extremely helpful to understand the why. You'll get clarity and an understanding of how you can overcome your difficulties.
In your first appointment we’ll discuss your current difficulties and start to build a picture of exactly what the problem is. I'll also introduce you to how CBT works and we'll agree some therapy goals.
what to expect
initial appointment & assessment
making sense of the problems
working on the problems
I'll help you get down to the nitty gritty of your problems and goals, so you can start making sense of what's going on and how to move forwards.
In this online appointment We'll discuss what's brought you to therapy and what you're hoping to get out of it.
If you're ready to get started book an Initial Appointment
It's a free 15 minute telephone call and a chance to ask me any questions you've got (don't forget to check out my Therapy FAQs & Fees).
IF YOU'RE INTERESTED IN WORKING TOGETHER BUT YOU’RE NOT SURE IF CBT THERAPY IS FOR YOU, WE CAN HAVE AN INTRO CALL first.
Have questions? Book an Intro Call
Therapy FAQs & Fees
Therapy sessions (50 minutes) are £125, including the Initial Appointment. I have chosen not to work with insurance companies and will only accept self-funding clients.
No, I specialise in online therapy so all sessions take place on Zoom. I think there's something special about being able to access therapy from the comfort of your own home - and research shows it's just as effective as face-to-face. I also love that your geographic location isn't a barrier to working with me - I believe people should be able to access the best therapist for them wherever they live.
My therapy clinic days are during the daytime on Tuesdays and Thursdays (the earliest appointment time is 9.30am and the latest appointment time is 3.30pm UK time). Your therapy session will take place on the same day/time each week.
Yes, sessions take place on a weekly basis. In my experience biweekly therapy is less effective so I no longer offer this. You can think of it like taking a Vitamin C supplement - taking it half as often might make it last longer but it's going to be less potent and therefore less efficacious at giving you the results you want.
This really depends on your needs and preferences, but I can give you an idea of whether I think short-term or longer-term therapy will be helpful after our initial appointment. CBT is goal orientated which means therapy is often completed within 3-6 months, but I also have some clients who find the therapy space so valuable they choose to carry on for longer.
Yes, I can offer therapy to clients all over the world (except for those that live in the US or Canada). For US and Canadian clients, I also offer Cognitive Behavioural Coaching and you can hire me as your coach - please email me at hello@natalieenglander.com for more details.
At the moment I will only work with young people age 16+ (where there are no risk or safety concerns).
I don't provide crisis support. If you are feeling suicidal and think you may take action to end your life or harm yourself please go to A&E or call 999. You can also contact your GP or local NHS mental health service for urgent support, or call the Samaritans on 116 123 for emotional support.
